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Our team of professional memory care and assisted living care providers here at Gateway Gardens are there for all of you, young and seasoned alike. Your memory care loved one may periodically (or often) exhibit bouts of sudden and inexplicable anger. Today’s blog offers “food for thought” regarding proven helpful ways that you can react to situations.

If your loved one gets angry or exhibits aggressive behavior, try to de-escalate the situation as much as possible. You can do this in a few ways.

Identify the cause of the anger.

Is your loved one hungry or in pain? Is she confused or in a strange environment? Try to identify what might be causing the outburst and rectify it. Offer a snack or a drink. Take her away from the noise and into a calm room. This can help calm her down and alleviate some of the anger she is feeling.

Focus on intuitive thinking.

Just because rational thinking is lost over time for someone with dementia, this does not mean intuitive thinking is lost. Intuitive thinking includes the five senses, core feelings like joy and love, observing others’ feelings and enjoying beauty. Trying to rationalize your loved one out of his anger or frustration will likely lead to further anger or frustration. Instead, focus on the thinking skills they do have. What do they see, taste and smell? How are they feeling? How do they think you’re feeling? This will help them feel competent and capable, rather than confused or embarrassed because they are unable to use rational thinking.

Thoughts for dealing with a loved one’s anger and aggression:

1. Don’t raise your voice at them.


2. Use as few words as possible. Talk to them in simple language.


3. Don’t argue. This goes along with not trying to rationalize. Remember, your loved one has lost or is losing that part of his thinking.


4. Restate what they’re saying in a calm way. This will make them feel heard and cared for.


5. Get on their level. Don’t stand over them. Sit beside them, kneel or put yourself physically on their level so they don’t feel intimidated.

If your loved one is having regular or intense outbursts of anger or aggression, be sure to talk to your healthcare provider. They can provide insight on what to do, if medication is the culprit or other providers who may be able to help.

Anger and aggression can be difficult (seemingly, or impossible) to deal with. We want you to know that loving, effective, and comforting response to dementia-related emotions resides within the core of our professional education and decades of experience. Loving memory care is what we do here at Gateway Gardens Assisted Living and Memory Care. You are never alone.